Today I was reading a series of passive aggressive FB notes directed at me and rolling my eyes so hard that I could practically see my brain. Then I realized that some of my most recent entries could be construed that way and I got pretty embarrassed. I didn't mean them that way, because there was other shit going on, but there's no need to go and get pathetic on the interwebs. I won't delete them, but I will try to be more conscious of not looking like an asshole on here.
Sort of horribly, going back to work helped pull me out of the doldrums. I guess having to get dressed and go perform a series of tasks is more motivational than sleeping 'til 10 and hanging out in my pajamas all day. That's kind of depressing in itself. But it is what it is (I hate it when people say that) and I do feel better. I was talking to someone today who I'd previously been very very nervous around (partly due to depression, which always makes me feel like I'm the biggest loser on the planet) and he commented that I seemed much less anxious.
At the risk of getting all crazy bulimic on everyone, I'm working on losing weight again. Not just sitting around not eating things, but actually keeping a food diary and weighing in and working out. I've lost 4 pounds since Dec. 28. I'm on a max of 1600 calories a day and, to keep myself from being ridiculous (i.e. eating sugar-free hard candies as a snack, drinking coffee all day as an appetite suppressant, etc.), a minimum of 600. I've been clocking in between 1000 and 1200 calories a day lately, which may not seem like a lot, but I do sit at a desk for most of my day, so that has to be taken into account. I'm thinking of taking a spinning class this coming semester, if the Intro to Spinning one is still offered on Wednesday nights.
Speaking of this semester, I'm starting to get geared up for that. I had originally scheduled 12 hours (on top of my 37.5 hours of work a week) but after that little nervous breakdown that closed out this past semester, I cut things back to 9 hours. I dropped a class with my favorite professor from last semester, because I don't feel like I'd be able to give him 100% between his class and my independent study, and the indie study is more important to me. I think he'll understand though. For indie study, I'm awaiting History of Sexuality to come in so I can start reading it. I'm pretty thrilled about that, because I love Foucault. However, I'm still trying to locate a non-French copy of Barthes Mythologies, which is much more difficult than it should be.
Nancy recently got engaged and asked me (well, told me) to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. Nancy doesn't know much about planning a wedding and I know way more than I ought to, so I've been helping her with that. This means I get to do things like tell her, "no, you actually DO have to reserve churches months in advance and you SHOULD call now" and make her a "Wedding Boot Camp" binder, replete with a photo of combat boots on the front. It also means I have far more control over the get up I'll be forced into.
I just bought "Can't Hardly Wait" on Amazon. I think a 90's movie party is in order in the very near future.
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