Wednesday, December 21, 2011

have a holly jolly christmas

As the child of an alcoholic, I find this song deeply and darkly hilarious.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

strive to be happy

I have a quote on my fridge from Max Ehrmann that says:

Be gentle with yourself. 
You are a child of the universe 
no less than the trees and the stars. 
In the noisy confusion of life, 
keep peace in your soul

It's actually a carved up bit from a larger poem, Desiderata. The whole poem is pretty wonderful.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Break (v.)- separate or cause to separate into pieces as a result of a blow, shock, or strain

Sometimes I forget how it feels to feel broken. The kind of intensity about it that it brings to even the smallest tasks, because there is a simultaneous attempt to escape it and and resoluteness to bear it out by way of completing these simple missions. Turning the shower on to exactly the right heat. Watching a tea bag slowly seep into water. Minute details become exquisitely important, as you try to will your entire self into them to blur the pounding temples, the rising nausea. Everything must be quiet, quiet so your mind will be quiet too, so it will stand very very still, so those shattered pieces won't fall out of the frame.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


So I was turning in my final on Monday night and had the following exchange with my professor:
Prof. K: Your paper was excellent. You did a great job.
Me: Oh! Thanks!
Prof. K: I hope you've enjoyed the class.
Me: I have! This is actually my last real final of my masters, so it was a nice way to end things. I've enjoyed both classes I've had with you. Now I just have to write my thesis.
Prof. K: A thesis? What are you doing after this?
Me: I'm applying to Ph.D programs and I felt like writing a thesis would be helpful with that.
Prof. K: Absolutely. Well, if you need a letter of recommendation, I'd be happy to write you one. You've been an outstanding student in my classes.

He's the head of the graduate section of the English Dept. at Tulane. So. Awesome.

Monday, December 5, 2011

the minimum

me: boobs. stupid face. arbor mist in a bag.
Taken: At the Fly on a day when we had lots of other things to do but didn't want to do them so instead drove to the river with screwtop wine (because we forgot the corkscrew) and some guitars and made up songs about random things until the sun went down.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

101 in 1001- November update

23)See 26 movies I've never seen, starting with each letter of the alphabet.
J- Jakob the Liar (1999)
Z- Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

24) Learn 1 new word a week.
Somnambulant- walking or having the habit of walking while asleep
Glazier- One who cuts and fits panes of glass, as for windows
Presentment- semblance
Specie- A coin or coins of gold, silver, copper, or other metal

35) Give up soft drinks for 2 months.
Forgot to throw this one on there when I first typed up this list. I found I didn't really miss them at all and I'm hoping this means I'll drink a lot less from now on. Of course, I did promptly go get a Mountain Dew yesterday, but only because I was at Taco Bell, which has become a very rare thing for me.

83) Review 20 places on Yelp! and/or Urbanspoon.
16) Back To The Garden
17) Cochon

97) Take the GREs, both the general and the literature.
What an awful, nerve-wracking experience. Do not recommend. Especially within a couple of months of one another.

101) Host a fancy dress party.
This was so much fun! Definitely DO recommend. Lots of people commented on how fun it was to get dressed up and go somewhere.

Full list here

lipstick chronicles

In my quest to find a lipstick (#25), I've been trying various shades. So far, I've test run three (not counting the Black Honey "Almost Lipstick" because that's really not much more than a tinted gloss) and every day I try a new one, I take a pic on my phone and text it to Erin for an opinion. Here are the colors, so far (keep in mind these are morning photos, taken on a camera phone under florescent lighting, i.e. not that great or flattering):

(obviously a pre-coffee photo)
Lipstick: Revlon "Just Enough Buff"
Comments: I expected this to be more of a matte color than it actually is (think 60's really nude lips + smoky eye) but I do like it a lot. But it doesn't wear incredibly well and I notice that sometimes it photographs almost orange or salmon-y. It also takes at least 4 coats of lipstick to get the color in the photo.
Convo w/ Erin:
me: so you know how I'm always searching for a good lipstick?
Erin: yes
me: I bought one yesterday
and, you are going to laugh at me
Erin: oh boy
pins and needles
me: (sent link) 
Erin: in that color?
me: yes
Erin: what do you like about it?
i can't see that being your chosen color
is that why you said i'll laugh?
me: yes
it's a nude
Erin: yeah
i'm sure it looks nice
me: I dunno. I think it's pretty with my dark eye makeup
Erin: i would be disconcerted to see you wearing that
me: it's not lips nude
hold on, I'll take a pic
I almost did get a real nudebut I didn't want to look lipless
Erin: wow, i like it!
i like it a loti'm surprised
maybe everyone should just wear nude
me: ahhaahahhaa
I do think it's a pretty classic look
Erin: yeah
not whorey
me: I'm still on the search for an actual color
and maybe a better nude (this one doesn't last that long)
but in the meantime, I'm enjoying it

Lipstick: Revlon "In The Red"
Comments: I chose this color because said it was a red that looks good on everyone and I like the red lip trend. When I first put it on, it felt very garish. It took a few coats before it got to a shade I was okay with and I definitely think it's a color that needs a liner with it to keep it from looking smeared on. I had a few issues with bleeding at the corners. It's a matte shade and stayed on pretty well but it also dried out my lips and, when it did wear, would leave my lips looking stripy because it would stay built up in the cracks of my lips. Unlike some other mattes I've tried, it came off easily with water and a teensy bit of scrubbing. I'm not sure I wouldn't have minded it staining a bit more. It also smudged on EVERYTHING but I've never used a lipstick that didn't leave marks...these were just more noticeable because of the color. Overall, I'd wear this color again, but definitely not an everyday go to.
Convo with Erin:
me: okay this morning, I decided to try red lipstick
it was one that jezebel recommended as being perfect for all skin tones
I'm not totally convinced
but, you know me, I feel like pink is garish on me so red feels like clown
Erin: true
was it MAC?
me: I texted you a pic
no, revlon 007
Erin: because my friend kristine has that, and it works for everyone
i haven't seen the pic yet
i get weird reception in here
me: the real name is "In The Red"
I think the real problem is that I need lip liner
Erin: hrm
me: but I also don't love the color
I'm finishing up my makeup, then I'll take another pic
Erin: ahahha
me: sent
and posted on FB
looks somewhat better
Erin: hhahah i got them both at he same time
me: hahaha
there is a marked improvement in the second one
Erin: yeah the second one is better
you can't do that bright/strong of a color without balancing out the rest of your face
me: yeah
though I feel the black eyeliner might be too heavy with the red lipstick
I tried to smudge it but it's new so it went on heavy
do you like the red in general?
I trust you to give me an honest opinion
Erin: i do
i think it's a fun look
if you find the right combo of everything, it'll be fine

Lipstick: Benefit "Rocket Pop"
Comments: I really like this color but there's something about it I don't LOVE. I don't know if it's because of how closely it mimics my natural lip color or if it's because I don't look awesome today (I either need a new flat iron or I needs to stop straightening my hair) but while I theoretically like this lipstick better than the red, I prefer the way the red made me look. This lipstick doesn't have the best staying power (though I don't think it soaks in/wears off as much or as fast as the nude does), but it does make my lips feel amazing. It's like putting colored lip balm on, without the thickness. It also offers good color and coverage in one coat of lipstick, which neither or the Revlon colors did.
Convo with Erin:
me:  benefit lipsticks are incredibly moisturizing
Erin oooh good to know
me not sure so much about their staying power but they feel good on my lips
Erin let me know
i may need to get into some lipstick
me I just put this one on
so we'll see
trying pink today
light pink
as in, not much different than the color of my lips pink
Erin right
i can deal with that kind of pink
me I'll send a pic soon
new lipstick every day!
Erin haha
i like that
i may like that better than the red
at least for every day, normal wear
me yeah
how about better than the nude?
Erin no, i like the touch of color 
me okay. so far this is the best contender.
Erin heee, sweet