I am incapable of not being a total dipshit
there is this hot hot hot barista at Z'otz
he's gotten where he gives me large coffees for the price of a small
and just now, I went to ask for the wireless password and he said "are you reading judith butler?"
and I said "oh yeah" *feet shuffling*
and he said "I didn't know anybody read her anymore...that was back when I was a kid" (this guy is no way older than 32 or so)
and I was like "oh yeah I'm uh just like writing a paper" (then I made some weird hidey-ho gesture with my arms)
and then kind of walked away and turned back and said "but I mean, I like her!"
and he said "oh uh..yeah"
and now I'm facing him from across the shop and I can feel this awkward look on my face
i don't mean to be amused by your awkward trumbles
Me: god, I suck.
but you are
and so am I
C: they are funny
C: go back up there and ask him what he likes about judith butler
Me: god no
C: fuck yeah
Me: you are so brave
and I am so not brave
because I think you imagine me just sliding up there like "so what is it you like about butler?" and then slickly discussing theories of performativity
when in reality, I'd kind of shuffle up and be like "so uh what do you like about butler?" and he'd be all "um..."
C: it doesn't have to be slick
as long as it's mandi
whaddaya got to lose?
Me: my dignity