past tense

I have been making a concerted effort to work out lately. By "work out," I mean I jog/run on a treadmill for 35 minutes, but it's something. It's a start. Already, I've built up my distance and calories burned over 4 trips. I'm up a full mile (to 2.5) from my first trip and I was able to do a full out run for two 5 minute periods. That may not seem like a big deal, but I generally feel like I'm going to die when I try to run, so this is a massive improvement. Eventually, I'd like to try the weights, but the treadmill is working for me.

Beyond the obvious benefits, I've begun to notice other little changes. My skin looks brighter. I sleep better on the nights I go to the gym. But, best of all, I've noticed I've stopped craving sugar as much. Of course, this probably has something to do with my medicine, but today I went a full day without one piece of candy. Yesterday, I had one mini-Hershey bar. There is a huge bag of candy in my office (for the drs. I work for...I've tried to move it out of my office, only to be met with a barrage of complaints) and generally I crave it to the point of distraction. Today I administered my shot, had a sweet potato and date muffin with some almond butter, two "skinny" iced coffees and some broccoli and mashed potatoes. I ate a brownie just now, not because I wanted one but because I baked them over the weekend and there's still half a pan left and I hate waste. I didn't realize how much I craved sugar until I stopped wanting it. I'm sure this also has a lot to do with the above mentioned gym benefits.

I've also started keeping a graph of my weight, after being inspired by Making It Lovely. I've marked various goals for myself and I'm hoping to eventually lose 30 pounds (I mean, I'd love to lose 50, but 30 seems more attainable right now) with diet, exercise and tracking.

Mostly, I'm pretty proud of myself for trying to stick to a regimen, instead of falling back on the roots of eating disorder. I'm not sure I've convinced myself that I can do it, but I have convinced myself to quit self-sabotaging and give it a fair chance. So far, I've lost two pounds.