Monday, June 6, 2011

oh fuck you, workout.

58 minutes ago
Me: going to give Insanity another try
and probably want to kill myself
Steve: right on
just pace yourself
and remember it is supposed to kick your ass
Me: that helps
because otherwise, I'll be like "I"M WEAK"

53 minutes ago
Me: okay
going now
wish me luck
Steve: cluck

45 minutes ago (The Warmup)
Me: oh noes
I just tried planking and my whole body was trembling
I am so fucked
Steve: umm
what was planking
Me: the pushups
Steve: oh
girls have problems with those
Me: ok fit test time
Steve: are you doing the fit test?
yeah remember that this is a "before" test
just do what you can do

14 minutes ago
Me:oh my god
Steve: are you ripped now
Me: I made it 1/3 of the way through the fit test
and I must ask you, why do you hate me?
that is satan's workout
Steve: haha
slow it down
Me: I finished the knee lifts and I was reduced to trembling
I realized I was going to throw up, so I stumbled to the bathroom and did
then I came back, vainly hoping to try and do some more of the video
and I realized I was either going to puke or pee myself and really, I wasn't sure which
Steve: thats hilarious
Me: so I sat in the shower, trying to unhook my sports bra and shaking
and turned the cold water on full blast
and sat in there throwing up
I'm still shaking and I feel sort of euphoric
my legs are kind of numb
Steve: the only thing i can recommend is to repeat each day until you learn to pace better and build up some cardio
the workout i did today was the same one i had to do 4 times in a row
but now i can get through the whole thing because i know how to pace it better
Me: I'm going to keep doing the fit test til I can finish it
then try the first workout
I WAS going slow
Steve: if you can only do 3 of something, you can only do 3
Me: by the end of the switch kicks, I was having to stop
Steve: how many did you do?
Me: I did 67 switch kicks (probably too many), 31 squats and 53 knee lifts
Steve: fuck
there's your problem
i did 55
22 squats
50 knee lifts
Me: so what you're saying
is I was doing better than you until I lost all control of my bodily functions and almost pissed myself
Steve: yes

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