Sunday, October 2, 2011

hazy memories

Me: if La Ha parties taught me anything
it was how to play flip cup
I fucking dominated last night and I was the only girl at the party
against 7 dudes
Erin: hahhahaha
that's awesome
Me: I talked so much shit
one asshole got so pissed off that I beat him 3 times
I was sitting on an ice chest and he pushed me off of it
and then all my dude friends there were like "uh dude, wtf."
and I was telling richie about it later and he was all "WTF"
but I told him "but then I got up and ran over to the dude and punched him in the kidney and kicked him in the dick."
Erin: did you really?
Me: yes
I was really mad
the ice chest spilled over on me
I got soaking wet
and he was being a bitch
Erin: he sounds like it
i just can't imagine you kidney and dick punching anyone
Me: I was pretty drunk
I ran over and went to kick him and he grabbed my foot
Erin: you have to be after 3-7 games of flip cup
Me: so I punched him in the kidney
and he let go of my foot and I kicked him in the dick
oh we played a good 15 games
at least

Me: when I first started drinking, we were like...chugging beer
and it was spilling and peter started excitedly yelling "BEER ON TITS! BEER ON TITS!"
and I'm trying to flip the cup and going "really peter?"
Erin: it's the little things

Me: also, I guess richie and I are all official and shit
he referred to himself as my boyfriend
and I said "are you? you never asked"
and he looked at me like "are you fucking serious?" and said "sorry amanda. do you want to be my girlfriend?"
and I said "maybe" and he said "come here, you bitch"
we went on a very high/low date friday night
we were going to go see lion king but he was hungry, so we stopped beforehand
to get wings. and they were PACKED. so the movie had already started by the time we left
and he was like "you wanna go somewhere nice and just get a glass of wine?"
I said sure, so we went to the grape in perkins rowe and there was a live band
so it was actually really really nice
Erin: that sounds really nice
very low key
Me: it was. we just hung out and talked and laughed at drunks
and I told him about you bursting into the wine loft and announcing that it was so cold that it was making your nipples hard
and he laughed really hard
Erin: maybe one of my favorite stories ever
Me: it's definitely one of mine
man. we have been shitfaced so many times in front of each other
like, I can think of 6 times off the top of my head that I've thrown up in front of you
Erin: or in near proximity
when i went to that bachelorette party, one of michael's coworkers asked me for a ridiculous drunk story
and i couldn't think of anything
put on the spot like that
Me: oh damn
Erin: so since we were drinking champagne, i told about my flirtini night and how i was hungover for 3 days
Me: we peed off the back of a boat
Erin: but i wish i'd told the cold nipples story
Me: there's that one
there's the christmas party
when we were both shitfaced
Erin: and you stripped
and i passed out in my closet
Me: and we made mike and katie take care of the cats while we passed out
we are awesome
Erin: yes
Me: honestly, I think I'm more of an embarrassment than you though
I mean, there was that time I took off with a 5th of vodka, ran down the street and passed out in a yard
there was the time I threw up out the car on the way back from new roads
of course there's the time when C had to come get me from your parking lot and brought me home with a bucket
Erin: yeah, that one was a classic
Me: I am awful
at least I've mostly gotten my shit together
last night, I drank drank, made myself puke, drank a liter of water THEN resumed drinking
like a motherfucking adult.

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