Saturday, September 11, 2010

despite all the computations/you could just dance to that rock 'n' roll station

I had loads of fun today. In browsing the NOLA LJ community the other day, I came across the following event:

One Book One New Orleans is a literacy initiative that encourages all the residents of New Orleans to read the same book during the same time period. This year the book is Satchmo: My Life in New Orleans, the 1954 Louis Armstrong memoir.

This Saturday, Sept 11, there will be a self-guided walking music and literacy tour of the downtown and Old Algiers areas of New Orleans.
There will be stops along they way where you can take a free tour (Preservation Hall!), get 2-for-1 drinks (Hotel Monteleone), and receive discounts on purchases (LA Music Factory). All you have to do is show the map that you will pick up at the start of the tour: Basin St. Station at 501 Basin Street.
The tour ends after a free ferry ride across the Mississippi River to Algiers Point and the Jazz Walk of Fame. Just a few steps away you will find Hubbell Library, a branch of the New Orleans Public Library, where there will be free food and drinks provided by the Bourbon House, as well as the chance to sign up for a library card and view the Jazz History posted on the walls of the library's temporary home: the Carriage House behind the Algiers Courthouse at 225 Morgan St. The library closes at 5:00 pm.


Since I've been dying to get Christie to come visit me, I sent her the link to the event and we made plans to go trounce around the Quarter. We grabbed some coffee at the Rue and then headed down to Rampart (after getting slightly lost in Mid-City, but I easily figured out where I was going! No small success for someone who has as many issues with directions as I do.)

First, we had to find the visitor's center to pick up our map. The map, as it turned out, was a kind of shoddy hand-drawn map of the Quarter. It was a little confusing and resulted in us going up and down the same block 3 times, trying to figure out the correct way to go. Christie remarked, "I think maybe this whole thing is an elaborate scheme to mug lost people."

Our first stop on the tour was the St. Louis Cemetery #1, to see the Musician's Tomb. While we were there, I showed Christie Marie Laveau's grave (and kicked myself for forgetting my camera). We strolled around the tightly packed tombs and hypocritically snickered at a tourist group. We then had the "walking the same block" experience, as noted above, which was maybe our punishment.

Next was Preservation Hall, which I've actually never visited. I don't think I'd want to pay for a tour, but it was cool to see. Almost like a little jazz church. Following that, we wandered through Jackson Square and considered getting a palm reading, in the spirit of the day, but decided against it because no prices were advertised and we didn't feel like trying to talk our way out of the situation if we asked and the price was extraordinary. We also passed a large, grungy looking man in Adidas sweatpants, wearing a "turban" and sitting beside a handwritten sign, advertising his services as a "clairvoyant, angelic, psychic fortune teller." We took a pass and headed over to the Faulkner book store in Pirates Alley (nice article on it here). I'd love to go back there when I have some money. It was very small, but a really lovely place to hang out, with a great assortment of books.

The third item on the list was the Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone, with 2-for-1 drinks. Christie and I debated what we should order, mentioning juleps, sazeracs and mojitos, but I finally decided that I wanted a Pimms Cup, because it was sweltering and I needed something refreshing. The Carousel Bar was a pretty jazzy place. It is, as it sounds, a bar that spins very slowly. Not a place to get shitfaced, because, as Christie said, the spinning perfectly mimics the drunk spins (also, I'd feel like an asshole getting soused in such a classy bar). But as a place to sit and sip a couple of drinks, it was wonderful. I'd love to go back at night, because there are fiber optic lights in the ceiling and the carousel awning over the bar has old-fashioned light bulbs (not so great pic here on the Monteleone's website). I may see if my parents would want to go for my birthday.

We considered spending the rest of the day drinking, but we were both pretty tipsy already and very hungry. We decided to hit up a Cuban place we'd seen. As we stood outside looking over the menu, a man approached and told us, "You HAVE to order the porkchop. It's the best thing on the menu. You should split it, with the baked potato and a salad with oil and vinegar dressing. There's no passing it up! Get a side of guac. I eat here all the time, I'm a regular. The flan here is amazing, don't forget the flan, it's not that cheap stuff, it's really good. Hold on, let me get you a good waitress." We dutifully split an order of porkchop with a loaded baked potato, salad as prescribed and some guac. It was AMAZING. We never even made it to the flan, because we got so stuffed on everything else. I gave Christie my card to give to the waitress while I ran to the bathroom and when I came back, she said "check out that ticket." We were undercharged by about $3 (no extra for the loaded potato or the guac). We left a hefty tip. I am so going back there. I want to eat that porkchop every day.

We were pretty lethargic after our Cuban extravaganza, but checked out LA Music Factory. Both of us have been before and will go again so we didn't stay too long. The last leg of the tour was a ferry ride over the Mississippi to Algiers Point for the Jazz Walk. Riding the ferry was a lot of fun. I really love being on a boat; it reminds me of summer and family. There's something about the wind that comes off of a river. Maybe we were just dizzy with heat, full bellies and Pimms, but we were pretty loopy by the time we made it to Algiers. We just started wandering around the town, exclaiming over adorable houses, being lost (being lost in Algiers seems to be a developing habit of mine), talking with locals and basically forgoing the entire last leg of the tour. We ended up at the last stop, the library, where I got the Coke (diet, blech) I'd been lusting after for hours (why didn't I get it with lunch? Or at the bar? I don't know. I wanted a FREE Coke.). After about 10 minutes, we decided to take the ferry back to NO proper. We began sleepily walking back to the car but, at my insistence, we stopped at Southern Candymakers for a praline (me) and a turtle (Christie). Okay, I also got a dark chocolate cashew cluster and a milk chocolate raisin cluster, both of which I greedily devoured, saving the praline for later (my whims, they make no sense).

All in all, it was a wonderful and educational day, made better by being on the cheap. Though I have to say, we hardly learned anything about poor Satchmo at all, except that there is a statue of him in Algiers.

Tonight, fun continues--I'm going see a band and see Ann off (well, technically I'll see her tomorrow morning, after I hand over her tranquilized kitty, but that'll probably be a rush).. I'm feeling better than I have all week. Almost sunshiny! Time for dancing!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

don't we always die trying anyway?

Lately I have been really worried about what I'm going to do about money in the next few months. I have bills coming up that are going to wipe out the last bit of money in my checking account and rent is going to decimate my savings. I need a job. I probably need jobs. I've applied and applied and nothing comes back. I know I need to just go and get a job waitressing but I know that waitressing by itself probably isn't going to cover $750 a month in rent plus bills. It's probably going to take 2 jobs.

And I begin to wonder...what am I doing here? Why did I leave a good job, a job where I probably would have been able to go to school at LSU to get the same degree I'm getting here? Why did I move here for what is basically a bullshit degree? Why am I doing this to myself?

But.

It's easy to get pulled down in that, especially in this precarious position. And I have to remind myself: I'm here because this is one of the few times in my life that I will have a chance to do something on my own. I have friends and family, people who love me, rallied behind me, but in the end, it's just me. I needed to get out of Baton Rouge, even though I didn't realize it at the time. I needed to cut the safety net and do it alone. Because if I would have stayed, I would have lived with that feeling that I wasn't trying and that often leads to apathy. I'd stop wanting to try, occasionally wondering what might have happened. I had to give myself that chance to do something bigger, to go to Tulane and maybe get into a Ph.D here and live in New Orleans by myself and earn my own way and figure out what I want. Because until we step outside of those boxes, it's hard realistically say "I want this." Well, it's hard for me anyway. In just the month I've been here, I've felt more at home in my own skin than I maybe have ever felt. Sometimes it's awful and painful and sad, but sometimes, little moments, it's a kind of exaltation. Realizing I could be alone was freeing for me. Not that I want to be alone forever, but I think that doing it for awhile gives one a sense of clarity and a sense of self that is difficult to attain otherwise. For me, it's also been a lesson in fortitude, or maybe a reminder of it--that I can be strong when I want to be.

So when I get down, I just keep telling myself, "Push yourself. Give it your all. Make it work. Make. It."

Monday, September 6, 2010

tagged

I just realized that, for all I talk about food, I don't have a food tag. So I'm adding the tag "vittles and viands" to any food related posts. I think it spans the gamut nicely from corncob wine to the recipes of award-winning chefs.

movin'

This weekend I:
-Baked a loaf of bread
-Read and got tipsy on my porch
-Received an excellent critique on a paper ("This is an excellent essay. I love the different levels of analysis and how you resist the easier interpretations of the speech. (...)You make a number of insightful points about Gorgias and Protagoras, and your conclusion is very suggestive, since it represents precisely the problem with treating this group of thinkers as belonging to a “movement”. This is a very good start and I look forward to reading more of your work. You have the right focus on subtlety and nuance to excel in this course.")
-Went to a party that I was really nervous about attending and ended up having a very good time.
-Got lost in Algiers Point
-Met up with friends at 3 am and had more fun.
-Twice lured Fred the cat out from under the house with Suzanne Goin's leftover chicken after said friends let him out.
-Had breakfast at Oak St. Cafe
-Took a 3 hour nap
-Applied for jobs
-Dusted
-Had a breakfast of homemade toast, homemade stewed peaches and tea
-Unpacked more boxes
-Tried in vain to set up my electronics (how I've lost 3 RCA cables, I do not know)
-Listened to a lot of Motown-esque music
-Had a good talk w/ Ravi about relationships
-Made plans with two friends for this coming week
-Bottled (jarred) some corncob wine
-Worked on a paper for school

All in all, it's been a very productive holiday weekend.

Friday, September 3, 2010

one

Today marks one month that Ravi and I broke up. A month ago, I stood in my grandma's driveway and hugged Ravi goodbye. We both cried and promised to always be there for each other and said "I love you." He came back 2 days later to help me move but, there we were. Single.

The day after the breakup happened to be August 4--what would have been our 3 year anniversary. Ravi sent me flowers at work, with the following card:
Thank you for making the last 3 years so wonderful! I've tried my best to remain stoic to make the last couple of weeks more bearable, but it's been really hard to hold it together. I love you and will miss you more than I can explain. I feel like I'm leaving a part of me behind. I hope no matter what that we will always have a close friend in each other. Please come visit.
Love always,
Ravi

I almost went to visit him this weekend, but we agreed it was still too soon. I hadn't even thought about the date significance. I'm glad I didn't go just yet. It would have been heartwrenching.

I guess this is the part where I say this has been the hardest month of my life or something, but it hasn't. It's not even been the saddest (though really it's only second to some very significant deaths). This breakup has been very strange for me, in that I'm not reacting to it in a way I'm familiar with. I'm not down in the pits of despair, fantasizing about suicide or running away (though the thought of never having existed occasionally flits across my mind). I'm sad, but I've only had about a week or so of that kind of desperate I-will-never-feel-good-again sadness. I feel guilty about it in a way, like I should feel so much worse about this breakup. But I realize that I'm just sad in a different way, what I think is a healthier way.

But I'm still sad. And I miss my companion. And a huge part of me wishes that I was in Austin right now. So I'm cooking and listening to music and doing what I can to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

15 albums

There's a meme on Facebook right now, asking people to list the "fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you." I thought I'd post my own list here for posterity, with some notes

This is the list I posted to FB:
1) Ani DiFranco- To The Teeth-I first heard this album when I was 15. I had downloaded "Pixie" on a late night Napster binge, drawn to it because "Pixie" was my nickname at the time. I listened to that song for HOURS. Later that same week, I was in Wal-Mart with my mom and saw "To the Teeth" (the irony of that kills me now. I realize now that the album must have just been released and Wal-Mart might have had a few copies before realizing the content/language. I used to love picking up unedited CDs at Wal-Mart). Of course I had to have it and the album has resonated with me in different ways for the last 10 years and I always find myself listening to it at transitional times in my life (break ups, new relationships, moving, graduating high school and college, etc.).

2) Smashing Pumpkins- Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness--The soundtrack of my teenage years. I was obsessed with the Pumpkins. I used to have a tradition of playing this CD every time I got a new car (I'll have to tell the story of my high school cars one day...it's nothing pretty).

3) Janis Joplin- Pearl- One of the first vinyls I ever bought. I've listened to and loved Janis since I was in the womb.

4) Bessie Smith- Nobody's Blues But Mine- The first album I bought at LA Music Factory in NOLA. In my first semester of college, I took a theater class that required us to see 3 plays at LSU. One of these was Ma Rainey's Black Bottom and I did some research on the title character. I went to LA Music Factory wanting to but a Ma Rainey record but either they didn't have one or it was out of my price range. I had heard a few Bessie Smith songs before and remembered that she was influenced by Rainey, so I bought this record. During this time, I was seeing a therapist and I moved out of my parents house for the second time and got out of a detrimental relationship. The first night I moved in, I put this record on and turned off all the lights and sang myself to sleep.

5) Feist- Monarch- This album is chock full of great breakup and love songs. I listened to it a lot when I first thought Ravi and I were breaking up, which also happened to be in the middle of my senior finals. It's been on constant rotation ever since.

6) Simon and Garfunkel- The Essential Simon and Garfunkel- Someone said that using compilations wasn't true to the spirit of the exercise, but I actually own this (double) album and its the one that sticks with me, so I think it's acceptable. I don't really have a backstory for this. It's just a set of some really great music. I will say that sometimes, when listening to S&G, I remember a passage from one of the BSC books (R.I.P. my set of these--THANKS MOM.), one of the Dawn books, when Dawn notes that she knows her mom is depressed because she's listening to Simon and Garfunkel.

7) Stevie Ray Vaughn- Texas Flood- I seem to have a thing for second-wave blues. This album reminds me of my parents especially my mom, who LOVES SRV. She and I used to dance around to this, especially the song "Pride and Joy."

8) Broken Social Scene- Broken Social Scene- Ravi introduced me to BSS and, in a way, this album reminds me of him. But, it's also a stand alone fantastic album. In the heat of senior finals, when I was typing two twenty page papers, living off of coffee and Taco Bell and sleeping on the floor of the Delta office, I used to put "Windsurfing Nation" on repeat and type as fast as I could.

9) Radiohead- OK Computer- This is almost cliche, it's on so many lists. But that doesn't negate how fantastic this album is.

10) Decemberists- Castaways and Cutouts- I know "Picaresque" is the popular favorite, but there are just more songs that I like on C & C (music factory). This album reminds me of Winter 2007, being sad, spending lots of time with Nancy and Devon.

11) Fiona Apple- Tidal- Poetic teenage angst. I used to scrawl Fiona lyrics in my journals, especially around the beginning of college.

12) Tori Amos- Tales of a Librarian- Reminds me of post-Katrina, being discouraged but also meeting and loving a ton of new people, singing "Cornflake Girl" with Christie and Josh.

13) Lauryn Hill- The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill- I was obsessed with this album when it first came out, especially "Everything is Everything" (which I still love to listen to for an uplift.) I still think it's Lauryn Hill's best work and better than The Fugees The Score. Plus, lots of run to sing/rap along with.

14) Jeff Buckley- Grace- I tend to think this one is self-explanatory, though I haven't seen it on anyone's list. I've always flirted with this album, especially "Hallelujah" but it too went into heavy rotation around breakup time. This album always provides a certain very strong memory for me...it snowed the morning of my French final, my very last undergraduate final, and I was running on 1.5 hours of sleep (after finally finishing those 20-pagers). I had "Last Goodbye" on my iPod and as I crossed the street to enter Francioni Hall, it came to the bridge of the song ("did you say/'no, this can't happen to me...'"). I felt like running, like flying. Since then, I always feel a rush of adrenaline when I listen to that part of the song and it brings me right back to that sleep deprived, freezing, exhilarating moment.

15) Red Hot Chili Peppers- Californication- I almost didn't put this because I thought I'd get laughed at, but you know, fuck it. I love this album, have loved it since it came out and it holds a crazy amount of memories for me. And, frankly, I loved a lot of the mainstream music between 1996 and 1999.

Honorable mentions:
Arcade Fire- Funeral
Smashing Pumpkins- Siamese Dream
Madonna- The Immaculate Collection (my first CD!)
Ani DiFranco- Not a Pretty Girl
Tori Amos- Little Earthquakes
Beatles- Abbey Road
TLC- Crazysexycool
Rolling Stones- Sticky Fingers
Nirvana- Nevermind
Pearl Jam- Ten
Alice in Chains- Dirt
Everclear- So Much For the Afterglow (look I KNOW. But this album addressed that crazy depression I felt in my teenage years and it resonated with me. And sometimes I still listen to it and sing/scream along. It's like pop music cut with glass.)

101 in 1001-August addendum

23) See 26 movies I've never seen, starting with each letter of the alphabet.
H- How to Marry a Millionaire (1953) (August 2010) (this was a really cute movie! Kind of predictable in that way a lot of movies from that era can be but still had a lot of good laughs in it and some great actors)

24) Learn 1 new word a week and use it.
Encomium- a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly. (I think I knew this word once, back in Greek class, but since I had to look it up and I've used it lots since, I will include it as my word of the week.)
EDIT- On the official list, this is going as "Sept. wk 1" b/c this week was more Sept. and less Aug.

55) Cook 10 challenging dishes from celebrated chefs.
1) I cooked Devil's Chicken Thighs over Braised Leeks from Suzanne Goin's Sunday Suppers at Lucques for Ann on Monday night as a small token of gratitude for how immensely helpful she's been, re: living in New Orleans (if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have my lovely little apartment!)
This dish was challenging in that there were A LOT of steps. Luckily I cooked the leeks around 2:30, so I had a little time to rest (and bake a quick chocolate loaf cake) before Ann came over. I was especially thrilled with the chicken, as this is only the second time I've cooked chicken in almost 4 years and the first time, it came out a little on the dry side. This came out really well though, if I do say so, and I've been munching on the leftovers ever since (especially those leeks, which I need in my life at least once a month. Though I noticed that after eating them Monday night and again, Tuesday afternoon, I got a very bad headache. I've heard of people getting migraines related to raw alliums, but this was only a bad headache and they were cooked. Hopefully unrelated!).

I'm also reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (which I never finished the first time I started it about 12 years ago) and I'm about to start reading either Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil or Revolutionary Road.

Full list here